Your apartment is your sanctuary. It offers you great amenities. It’s the place where you come to rest and relax. But…you have that one neighbor. The one who is just a bit difficult and is making your apartment living situation not so ideal. What are you to do? Try these tips to make life with your neighbor a bit better.

Introduce Yourself

Sometimes a problematic neighbor is only difficult because you don’t know each other…yet. If you have a neighbor who is knocking on the wall when you’re having a party or stomping on the floor because he thinks your music is a bit too loud, it may be time to introduce yourself. Sometimes a simple introduction is all you need to smooth tensions over. Don’t be afraid to knock on the door and say hello.

Spend Some Time Together

If introductions have been made and you don’t notice an improvement in your relationship with your neighbor – take it a step further. Ask your neighbor in for a cup of coffee and see if you can find some common ground with each other. They may not be your best friend, but you can work to establish a cordial relationship based on mutual respect.

Handle Problems Before They Happen

Does your neighbor have parties that often go until all hours of the night? Do you have occasional parties that go until late? Go speak to your neighbor before these things happen. Inform your neighbor that you’re having a party (maybe even invite them) or ask if they could turn down the music at a certain time. Sometimes people are not aware that their actions are bothering others and by simply asking you can head off problems before they occur.

Avoid Gossip

Sometimes you may find that several of your neighbors find the same neighbor a bit difficult. While it might temporarily feel good to gossip about this person, resist the temptation. Gossip will in no way improve your tensions with your neighbor. You need to tackle those head on.

Pick Your Battles

Learn to let the little things slide. If the noisy party is only once every six months, maybe you can give it a pass. If it’s every Friday night – that may be a battle you want to take on. Knowing when to pick your battles is so important.

Document Problems

Make sure you are documenting the problems you are having with your neighbor. Write down the steps you have taken to try and improve things. And, be specific. Make sure you have dates and times (and photos if appropriate) so that you have a record of what is happening.

Write a Letter

If talking isn’t working, maybe a written letter to your neighbor will help. Try to keep a neutral tone so that your neighbor knows that you are only trying to make things better. Refrain from being passive-aggressive in your letter, and be careful with your tone, as it can sometimes be hard to decipher in a letter.

Talk to Your Apartment Manager

If you’ve tried all of the avenues you can think of to deal with you difficult neighbor, and you’re not sure what to do next, speak with the building manager. He/she may have some ideas as to how to improve the situation. Or, your building manager may be able to address the problems with the neighbor – especially if multiple neighbors are unhappy.

Don’t let a difficult neighbor keep you from enjoying your apartment. Work to improve the situation so that you enjoy all that apartment living has to offer.